Just want to clear it up

     Hey guys, sorry that is has been a couple days, Ive heard different feedback from different people over my post and its taken some time to actually sit down and think about things and how I wanted to respond to them.
     Yes, I have had a very hard life, and even though I post about experiences I have lived through its not because I want people to feel bad for me. I dont want the sympathy vote from people. In fact I actually, looking back, love the hard life that I have had to endure. I love the person that I am today, I love how strong I am today and I would not change me for the entire WORLD! If I hadn't lived through what I did, my boyfriend would have never fallen in love with the man that I am today. I know that life gets hard, and people around you can be even harder. Dont ever give up, and dont ever change who you are. Just remember you can choose you family, I know I have. There is nothing you can do about your biological family, but if they dont accept who you are then they aren't real family. The people around you that love you and are there for you for anything, anytime, those are your true family members!
     I also want to touch on something else I know millions of people struggle with, especially people in situations where they feel unwanted. I want to be the first to admit, I turned to substances to try and aid in the pain that I felt. I nearly ruined my life, and almost died in the end of it. People say all the time that drugs/alcohol are not the answer, and for the 4 years of my addiction I would have disagreed just like everyone else stuck in one. Even after losing over 40 pounds, getting to where I was so sick all the time, and doing my drugs daily, I would have denied that I had a problem. 'It was just me having fun'. It wasn't until I went to the clubs one night, got home from the clubs about 7am still blitzed out of my mind, and the next thing I know I'm waking up in a hospital. The doctor came in the room, and when he looked at me I will never forget the look on his face, like he had seen a ghost. The thing that still haunts me to this day, and keeps my sober date building everyday is what he said next, "Son, do you know what day it is?". I said, "of course, its monday the 24." He replied "No son, its Saturday the 29. You have been in a coma for 5 days now. We did not ever expect to have you back. The amount of ecstasy in your system should have killed you."I don't ever want anybody having to go through waking up in a hospital. The only thing that my drug addiction did was prolong the pain that I felt, and even made it harder to deal with in the end, because I was not only dealing with the pain of my life but now I have to deal with the pain of detoxing and learning to cope with my entire life without any sort of substances. I can promise, if you never believe anything that I say, just believe this; I ONLY REGRET THE 4 YEARS OF MY LIFE THAT I MISSED BECAUSE I WAS TOO HIGH TO EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING THAT ENTIRE TIME. Though, once again it has made me a stronger person, I just dont want anyone to have to hit the rock bottom that I did in order to realize that the 4 people sitting in the hospital room crying when I woke up, were the family that I thought I never had.

You are not alone, you will never be alone, and I beg you to enjoy the sober life. The memories are so much clearer in the end, and you will never have to look back and thank God that you are alive. You never have to see the scared faces of your family, the face that they thought they would have to say goodbye to you forever. They would never be able to go to the movie with you again, never get to call and tell you about their day or come over to give you a hug because you got engaged.

Life may be hard, but dont ever forget you are an amazing person and your life is worth living in sobriety.

Sober days: 2 years. 3 months. 25 days. and climbing :) You can do it too.